First Year of Marriage!

First Year of Marriage!
Current mood: grateful
Category: Blessed Romance and Relationships

(Originally written July 17, 2007; transferred from: http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.ListAll&friendID=110426580)

Jason and I are officially one week away from celebrating our one year anniversary. I am so excited, as all married couples are, to finally reach this point.

I have learned more in my first year than I ever thought I could, likely not how you might think. I have learned not to listen to the foolish magazines or the world when it comes to marriage. I have learned that you marry and just live life one moment or one day at a time.

So many people said the first year is the hardest, I completely disagree. If this is our hardest year then I can only imagine the bliss that awaits us! That said of course, without seeming callow!

I have learned quite a bit about Jason, as he has learned about me. More about our true habits and lifestyle, but mainly about how we both react to and deal with life.

I will tell you, I am as happy, if not happier, today as I was a year ago, while a blissful doting bride! I have learned to say and know the true meaning of a best friend, and that I have found in my husband!

My main thought, while writing this, is how shameful the world can be, when it comes to marriage. Throughout my engagement so many people wanted to talk with me about my wedding, my engagement ring, my wedding dress, our honeymoon. Then comes the marriage! The world then wants to tell you how hard it is, how you should live for yourself. Everyone says to be sure and take time for you, don't spoil him, don't do this or that. I just thank God for him everyday. I thank God I have him right now, to share my life with.

Again, I simply live my life day to day. I do not plan too far ahead, I try to enjoy each moment we are given. I try to show my husband daily, how much I love and respect him, just how grateful I am to him, for loving me! I have learned in this year just how to appreciate and respect my husband and show my love and support for him, which makes it simple for him to give back to me! That makes me overwhelmingly happy.

I have learned through our relationship, when you wait on God, He blesses you far beyond the capacity of your thoughts. I have had other relationships, and sometimes didn't understand why they did not work, or what God's plan was for my life. I think the song on my page explains it best, God did bless that, seemingly long, broken road, that led me straight to Jason!

To my single friends, be patient, God does have a plan for you! To my married friends, I hope we never lose sight of the gifts in our life, including our life partners! God placed us together; he will always lead us through the rest of our married lives, provided He be placed first.

As I close, I don't want to imply I am naive! Jason and I have had our ups and downs during this first year. They have only built our marriage and strengthened us. I suppose that is how we learn and grow! Ann Landers said it best "All married couples should learn the art of battle as they should learn the art of making love. Good battle is objective and honest--never vicious or cruel. Good battle is healthy and constructive, and brings to a marriage the principle of equal partnership."

Finally, I have learned in a year, what I knew, while I was still single. However, the things I know now, that I am married, I guess you could say are to another caliber. The negative aspects are somewhat impetuous, because we feel free to let our guard down! I guess, in a year, I have learned that Jason has committed himself to me and I no longer have to worry about scaring him off!!! I have that confidence, through God!

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Pessimist...Ugh!

Pessimist...Ugh!
Current mood: optimistic
Category: Blessed Life

Pessimism is defined as:

the tendency to see, anticipate, or emphasize only bad or undesirable outcomes, results, conditions, problems or a tendency to stress the negative or unfavorable or to take the gloomiest possible; the doctrine or belief that this is the worst of all possible worlds and that all things ultimately tend toward evil; the doctrine or belief that the evil in the world outweighs the good

A pessimist is defined as one whom habitually sees or anticipates the worst or is disposed to be gloomy! This not to be confused with one who is trustworthy or wise to foresee the outcome of a situation.

I often think of the Serenity Prayer, when thinking of people who live the sad depressing life of a pessimist:

"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference; enjoying one moment at a time; accepting hardships as the pathway to peace; taking as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it; trusting that He will make all things right, if I surrender to His will, that I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with Him forever in the next."

This beautiful, life abiding prayer was written by Reinhold Niebuhr. Now, there is a human being who could teach us all a thing or two about a pessimistic lifestyle! However, I will simply give you the website, his sad story is another blog, another day! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reinhold_Niebuhr

I do not understand pessimism, or how individuals get caught up in that way of life. Each of us could look into our own lives and find our own bit of pity and sad story, while at the same time we could reach in and find a precious lengthy list of blessings, from the beginning of our own existence.

As I get older and wiser, of course, ::smiling sarcastically:: I am learning more, how to appreciate the greater things in my life. My family, for example, God has richly blessed me with a precious family, including my new family, my in-laws. He has blessed me with a precious, not perfect, husband, with too many wonderful qualities to go into detail about; I did that in my last blog. I have a wonderful home, a great job including a great boss. I have been graced with precious nieces and nephews. Each of whom love me more than was ever expected. However, I still find myself whining about a bad day, whether it be my husbands or mine, and most of the time the subject of the complaints is petty!

Jason and I have recently made a pact, to try to find something good about our day, every time we want to come home and complain. It is working! We have come to realize and recognize the positives about our jobs! I am now truly able to thank God I have one, as is he! Now, I am working on applying that to my attitude at work…God, more patience please! ::sigh::

Last year, I remember talking with some of my patients, at work, about my then upcoming wedding and marriage. Keep in mind I fit hearing aids, therefore I work with many older (wiser) adults, most over the age of 70, and many of them widowed. Needless to say, I was blessed with the most meritorious marital advice, and in abundance, I might add. The one thing I realized through all of that advice, was that life is in fact short. I established, early on, the fact my days on earth are numbered, as are the days I have to share with Jason. I remember praying and asking God to remind me of that, every time I felt a need to complain about something Jason did or didn't do for that matter. It has been hard, but it has worked!

I remember having to get use to cleaning up after him; I could not and have not mastered making him clean up after himself, the way I think he should. I remember that pact I made with God, before I said "I do"; remind me Lord, I have him to clean up after, rather than not! It gives me great pleasure to pick up his dirty socks, wherever he decides to pull them off…who would have thought it! ::big toothy grin::

My point is, life is too short for pessimism. God is good, and so is life. For my friends, whom I have complained to, please forgive me; that is neither the friend I want to be, nor the example I wish to set! For those of you who cannot seem to find happiness in life, try to think of an alternative for each situation you face, good or bad. Remember the Serenity Prayer; what a life lesson for all!

The reason I am writing about this, is simply realization! I have recently started putting things into perspective, about different situations and different people in my life. I do not want my friends to call on me to only hear all of the negatives in my life. I want you to know, more than anything else about me, I am truly blessed by God. All of my days are blessed, even the bad ones. My job is blessed, my husband's job is blessed as is our home, our family and our friends, etc.

I neither have time to complain, nor the time to listen to the same people complain incessantly. I am not saying I am not willful to be a shoulder to cry on, or even to offer advice if needed, in fact I take great pride in the ability to do that and be there for others; part of my struggle with empathy! My friend's and family's problems are of great importance and concern to me; provided they are in fact real problems and not inconsequential pessimism! If so, be prepared with hearing the truth! That said, not trying to seem bleak and unimpassioned.

It is that I have recently concluded there are those individuals, which create the problems in their lives, unnecessarily. They over analyze every detail of every aspect in their life, and even the lives of those around them, to the point it consumes every ounce of happiness achievable. In reality they have a great life, along with everything in it, yet, you talk with them and they grumble ABOUT EVERYTHING!!! They cannot be happy unless they are complaining about someone or something; someone has mistreated them, someone expects too much of them, life is unfair for them, they do not understand this one or that one; how does this person do this or that; so forth and so on. They have spent their life, missing the forest for the trees. It all drives me crazy; and with that said, consider this:

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will direct your paths. Proverbs 3, 5-6

Life is what you make it, the happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.

So, my friends, may you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human, enough hope to make you happy. And please remember, when life throws you lemons, make lemonade!!! I know, I know...it is so cliché, but it is the great classic recipe for happiness!

By the way, two things to check out, one the website: http://www.lifeisgood.com/

Life

Being Young Again...
Current mood: relaxed
Category: Life

You know I look back at the majority of my actions, as a teenager, and laugh at the things that tormented me! I cried over ridiculous crushes, fretted over the actions of my friends, couldn't see past the end of my nose when it came to being 15, 16 and 17 years old. I am still not so certain 19 & 20 were that much better! Why does one think they have all of the answers at that age? God, thank you for maturity and discernment!

Have you ever thought about the GREATEST life changing advice you would give to one of that age? I have figured out it doesn't matter much, they still think you are old, aged and out of touch; this being said from a 31 year old!!! How many remember when 30 seemed old? I am now at that point where 40 and 45 or maybe even 50 is just beginning your prime; that leaves me a few years to consider myself very young!